Are you a mom who is considering a homebirth but your husband says no? You're not alone! In this blog post, I'll share how I got my homebirth with my husband and how you can too. Keep reading for tips on how to get your partner to see that homebirth is the right choice for you.
I remember when I wanted my first homebirth and the long conversations trying to convince my husband that this was the way to go. We even met with a midwife, had all our questions answered, and she aligned with our beliefs in all areas of pregnancy and childbirth. He still wasn’t on board, and it wasn’t about concern for me, which may be the block you are dealing with.
For him it was about the out of pocket expense, which I understood, we weren’t rolling in extra funds by any means, but for me my freedom to choose was EVERYTHING! I never gave up, we kept having the conversations and then the moment happened……
When my OBGYN tried to pull a fast one in an area that I was not going to budge, that was the moment my husband saw just how unstable my FREEDOM to choose was with standard care. If my doctor was willing to stoop to this level for just a blood test what would he not be willing to do when it came to my birth plan and experience? In that moment my husband agreed to the homebirth I wanted and we contracted the midwife that week.
After that he never wavered in supporting me and we had an amazing homebirth experience.
If you are struggling with your husband in this area, here are 3 ways that you can help sway him without confrontation and still stay true to yourself and what you want in your birth experience.
1) First of all, if this is what you want then plan it all the way out. When you are able to paint the picture, not only for yourself but for your husband as well, he can begin to see how much it means to you. Have open conversations, without judgment for his stance, and create a space where he can share his reasons for being against what you envision. You may just find that he holds on to a lot of fear about being able to protect you in the moment and feels the hospital is best because of the emergent care.
2) Have your husband attend your consultations with different midwives so that he is a part of the process and can get his concerns addressed from someone he deems to be an authority on the subject at hand. I know that it is frustrating that he won’t believe you no matter that you have done the research and have a great base of knowledge, in his eyes you are still not the expert he needs to hear this information from. Having his concerns validated goes a long way to winning him over to your side.
3) Watch documentaries on the subject like The Business of Being Born and Why Not Home. If he is a reader, find resources and share them with him. Watch home and natural birth videos with him so he can witness the strength, beauty, and bonding that happens in those moments where women are so raw and vulnerable at the same time.
Bonus tip: Ultimately you must be prepared to make the decision with or without his support, more than likely he will support you in the moment anyways. This is your body and your birth experience and while his concerns are valid it isn’t his decision to make for you. NOBODY gets to tell you what you HAVE to do in this situation because nobody else is going to be doing the hard work and be in that vulnerable space, just you.
Oh, and if you have found this information helpful and you would like more encouraging, uplifting, and supportive information like this, I have a community I think you might like! You will find more great tips, empowering birth stories, and the support of a community that will come alongside you through your journey! Click here to join now.