January of this year marks 8 years since I gave in to having a scheduled c-section. This was something I didn’t want and, to be honest, I didn’t think it was necessary, even with my daughter being breech. See, my OBGYN had criticized me, belittled me, and just plain torn me down throughout my entire pregnancy, including pushing the topic of a c-section from 4 months on.
When I caved it was because I had no support or knowledge of what was possible, and, to be completely honest, I wanted my OBGYN out of my life. I was done being torn down at every appointment and just wanted it to be over. I walked away from this experience thinking I was broken and that my body just didn’t work the way it was supposed to. Until a few weeks later when I had an epiphany…..
See there wasn’t anything wrong with me but there was definitely something wrong with the way I was treated and how instead of feeling supported, informed, and confident I was belittled, criticized, and just plain pushed into what worked best for my OBGYN. So yes I had trauma around my birth experience and when this revelation hit me the anger went through the roof.
A few years later at a “business conference” I was taught a forgiveness strategy that helped me overcome many hurts that I had been carrying over my lifetime and realized how many areas of my life this tool/skill set could be used. Thank you Dani Johnson!
In sharing my birth stories I always noticed how the anger and hatred for my OBGYN would flare right back up as though it had just happened. Eventually I realized that I was allowing her to hold power over me in my emotional state and that I had the power to take it back through forgiveness.
I think so many of us carry our traumas around with us like it’s a Louis Vuitton bag that holds some kind of value. This couldn’t be further from the truth, all it holds in negative energy keeping you emotionally tethered to those experiences which means you can’t heal or move on.
Are you like me and believed that forgiving was letting the people who wronged you off the hook?
Yeah I thought that for a long time and now I understand completely why it is just the opposite. Forgiving others releases you from that space and negative energy, allowing you to heal and move past it.
Are you ready to move on from your past experiences and release yourself from the past so you can embrace what the future holds? I’m doing a Free 5 Day Pregnancy and Childbirth Mindset Shift Training in our community this week and forgiveness is one of the steps I am covering. You can jump into the group here.