So he agreed to having the homebirth I wanted.
Having Jonathan (my husband) on board with contracting a midwife and having a homebirth was the answer to my prayers and everything I wanted. I didn’t tell my OB that I was going for a home birth because I wasn’t going to give him any opportunities to speak negatively into what I WANTED!
I continued on with my care through my OB, declining all the things I didn’t want and pushed back whenever I had to, while also seeing my midwife who did nothing but encourage me in what my body was capable of doing.
Here is the funny part about this, I only knew TWO people who had given birth at home at this point in my journey, AND we hadn’t really ever talked about it!!! So this meant I really KNEW NOTHING about what I was getting into. WOW!!!
Even though I didn’t know what I was heading into, or even an inkling of what labor would be like, I NEVER doubted myself, my body, or my baby in being able to do this thing!!!!! I have been talking about this a lot recently with sharing my story so many times lately and it has occurred to me that for most this isn’t the case. There is so much fear of the unknown for so many women that are pregnant today and I truly find that sad.
What I have taken away from that ^^^^ is that GOD gave me a Supernatural Belief in what HE had created my body to do.
The seeds had been planted and not really watered but for me they took root and I knew what I wanted for my second birth. I wanted to have my baby at home on MY terms.
For some this might sound harsh but for those who have experienced the feeling of failure they walked away from their care (previous births or other) it makes sense. So many of us are told so many lies and stories that are meant to steer us into fearfully following our doctors “recommendations” (orders) and feeling like we have no say in the matter.
Back to my second, and healing, home birth story.
I missed my OB appt for my 39 week check up (this was a Tuesday) and I’m going to say this was something that was meant to happen. I didn’t have to decline cervical checks or hear any talk about induction or possibly scheduling a c-section (just in case my body forgot what it should do at this point), sorry for the sarcasm but unfortunately I see this all too often now.
On Wednesday I received a call about missing my appt and needing to reschedule but I wasn’t able to do it right then so I said I would call back…...oops mom/pregnancy brain…..I forgot.
My sister came to town that day to be there for the birth and it was great to have her there. (She rearranged and cleaned my whole kitchen in one afternoon!!!) Anyways on Thursday we went to breakfast at my favorite hole in the wall joint (The Nest in Bellflower, CA) and while we were there I was having contractions that everyone around us noticed. I just laughed them off and didn’t pay much attention, though I knew my time was near.
The next day we hung out until the afternoon when we decided to go look for a farmer’s market, which we didn’t find. From there we decided that my contractions were getting more intense and that we should get an early dinner at another favorite place (Porto’s in Downey, CA). A side note about this particular dinner visit, I had been wanting a chocolate chip cookie from here for several days if not more than a week at this point but the times Jonathan had gone to get me one they didn’t have any!! The first thing I asked when we got to the counter (there is always a line) was if they had any chocolate chip cookies because there weren’t any in the case. The server said ‘Actually I think they just came out of the oven, let me go check.’ I almost wet myself, I was so happy. He even brought me one to eat right then!!!
By this time I was having to stop walking or talking through contractions and we knew this was the beginning of labor. We ate and went home, I called my midwife and told her what was going on. We had the pool already setup in the living room ready for go time. My midwife came and listened to the baby and we sat and chatted for a few hours while we timed contractions and she figured I would probably labor through the night and have a baby sometime the next day. She wasn’t wrong either.
After my sister and midwife left around 11:30 that night I tried to rest and get some sleep but I was having contractions in my back and man I wish I knew some of the things that I know now to deal with that. I tried everything from taking a shower, sitting or leaning on my birth ball, in the recliner, hands and knees; Nothing helped!
Jonathan on the other hand had no problem sleeping and I couldn’t get him to stay awake with me for anything. Contractions were about 45 seconds to a minute long and about 5-7 minutes apart ALL NIGHT. In the wee hours I finally woke Jonathan up and asked him to counterpressure through the contractions and I was finally able to relax and rest for a few hours. (Khaleesi, then 2 ¾, came and laid with me and slept so soundly too.)
At 6 am I got up to go to the bathroom and my water broke on my way there! We made the appropriate calls and started working on getting the pool filled so I would be able to get in when I wanted to. The contractions became even more intense and my sister showed up and made sure I ate and kept Khaleesi company through all the waiting time. Back Labor is hard!!! All the contractions were still in my back and Jonathan was still applying counterpressure even though he was worried about the bruises I was going to have later. I didn’t care about bruises, but I did have them for a few weeks after, it helped in the moment and that was all I wanted.
I was leaned over the side of the birthing pool with Jonathan behind me to apply pressure and with Khaleesi being my focus (such a Godsend!!) through each contraction. At around 9:45 am I started having the urge to push and worked with my body to move our son down the birth canal and into his daddy’s hands. It was intense and at one point I started to say ‘I can’t do this’ but I only whispered it and then his head came and then with the next contraction his body. He was born at 10:10 am after just 20-25 minutes of pushing.
This part was amazing!!!! As soon as he was in Jonathan’s hands I stood halfway up, lifted my leg up over my baby and his cord, turning around and sitting down so that I could take him to my chest!! This was completely different from my first birth where I couldn’t even feel my legs right after she was born, let alone get up and move around without pain for days!!!
Oh and the best part was the look on Jonathan’s face!! Pure awe and disbelief of what he just witnessed. It was a healing experience without stress or worry for the whole family.
Oh by the way if you are on your journey through fertility, pregnancy and/or childbirth come join my community here on Facebook where I share what I have learned, resources, and support you on your journey. Whether it's your first or your 5th we would love to have you!