I see so many posts and comments where so many women are being bombarded by other people’s opinions as they walk through the personal journey of becoming a mom. This is so aggravating and I feel for all women who have had to deal with the naysayers along the way.
Here’s the thing though, you have to set boundaries because no matter how close you are or aren’t with your family this is YOUR journey and it has nothing to do with them! If you want to have 1 kid and be done or have 7 and counting, that is your decision with your husband.
NOBODY ELSE GETS A SAY IN THAT!!!
If you want to have YOUR baby at the hospital, a birthing center, home, or the lake, that is your decision and again NOBODY’S opinion matters if you and your husband are in agreement.
Staying positive during pregnancy and working to stay focused on the end outcome that you want is as easy as setting up those boundaries and not being afraid to tell people that they are not allowed a voice in how you choose to walk through it.
Great statements to keep in your back pocket for those who want to poopoo all over your journey are listed below. I encourage you to dig deep and grow strong on your journey so that you have an experience that you can look back on and be proud of yourself because you can see how setting the boundaries saved you so much unneeded stress along the way.
1) I’m sorry that you feel (that way, had that experience…..), however this is MY pregnancy and (I don’t receive that, would rather you not share that anymore while I’m pregnant, you don’t get to choose for me). Make this your own to fit the situation you are experiencing. It is okay to ask people not to share their traumatic pregnancy or birth stories with you while you are pregnant.
2) I don’t receive that from you. Please do not repeat that again. (to a friend or stranger) People will say things to you that will shock you with their audacity to think they can talk to you like that. Understand that when they are talking to you like that it is not about you, it is about their beliefs and their fears.
3) Thanks for that (advice, comment, information), I will take it into consideration. Ultimately this is my decision with (husband’s name) and your opinion is not a factor. Sometimes you have to be blunt to get people to back off, it can be rough, they will later understand (or not).
4) If you don’t have anything positive to say please don’t say anything in regards to my pregnancy or upcoming birth, I don’t need anyone else’s stress or negative thoughts influencing me in any way.
If you really want to set boundaries around your journey through pregnancy and childbirth here are a few things you can do to manage that:
1) Make your plans with your husband and only share them with those you trust fully and completely will support you.
2) If someone you thought would support you is being negative, stop discussing all parts of your pregnancy and birth plans with them. Politely explain that you love them and want to stay close with them, however this is a personal journey that their negativity is not accepted.
3) Have open conversations with your husband about what you want for support and how you want things to be. Our husbands cannot read our minds and if we don’t communicate clearly it only leads to misunderstandings, stress, and arguments that could have been avoided.
Next week I will cover some other ways that you can help yourself stay positive and avoid anxiety, frustration, and feelings of failure or being let down. This is a topic that is very important to me and I am so honored to share and blessed to be able to speak into you for your journey.
Oh hey I almost forgot that if you have liked what you read here and are looking for information to have an empowered pregnancy and birth experience, I have created a community I think you might like! You will find more great tips, empowering birth stories, and the support of a community that will come alongside you! Click here to join now.