If you have ever suffered through the loss of a pregnancy you know the mental battle that comes along after that loss.
What did I do wrong?
Why did this happen to me?
What could I have done differently?
With this loss I also came to realize how different the experience was from my first miscarriage 18 years prior. Back then I was wrecked and broken over the loss. Crying myself to sleep and just wanting to have my baby back. Back then my husband at the time wasn’t ready to be a dad and he really didn’t know how to care for me through the loss and months of mental anguish.
Fast forward to this loss and I barely had time to process because we had a toddler who needed me and I had to go back to work. There was no way for me to break and give in to the sadness. I do know now that I should have taken more time to process losing our baby because there is pain, suffering, and mental battleground that needs to be lived through.
I think that having my daughter already helped me though and over time I did process the loss and even though our doctor recommended waiting 6 months before trying again we started trying within a few months. I had, however, started supporting my progesterone balance with a natural serum and was feeling the difference in my cycles by then.
We conceived again in December 2015, right around Christmas, and knowing that I was doing what my body had needed me to with the last pregnancy I was sure this time would be different. I didn’t have any problems through this pregnancy and was in better shape then I had been before. I stayed active and ate better too.
When we know better we do better!
I will share more about my journey through this pregnancy, changing care providers multiple times and finally ending up with a midwife and an amazing homebirth in the next post. I hope you will continue on this journey with me!!!
Oh by the way if you are on your journey through fertility, pregnancy and/or childbirth come join my community here on Facebook where I share what I have learned, resources, and support you on your journey. Whether it's your first or your 5th we would love to have you!
