Motherhood

As I was making dinner a few weeks ago I kind of had a realization that I do things a bit different than most in my kitchen and that it may be helpful for other moms who are trying to get dinner on the table. I love to cook but I also like to save money and save myself time for another meal later in the week, can you relate? Sometimes I find myself struggling to get dinner on the table and usually it is when I stop doing these simple actions that make dinner easier to plan on the fly.

So many think this is a controversial topic and if you bring it up in the wrong place you better be prepared for the onslaught of verbal attacks. It is unfortunate that, as a society, we are not able to hear someone’s question with compassion and answer with empathy. Most of us have been in that place of having to make a decision that we knew little about at some point and we should understand what they are working through. For me it was when I was pregnant with my first..........

I have always wanted to be a mom and God has blessed me with 4 children on earth and 2 in heaven. I have also wanted to homeschool and have since my oldest was born. I have a huge vision of what kind of mom I want to be and how close I want our family to be by the way we raise them... Yet here I sit tonight writing this at the end of what feels like the longest day EVER!  Being a mom is hard work and when you add all the other elements of keeping a house, feeding and caring for everyone, and homeschool to the mix it can be overwhelming.......

Holding my newborn baby and staring at her for hours on end was my favorite thing to do in those first days. In those first days of having her home and figuring out what our new life looked like, we had plenty of time to just sit and think. One day as I was standing there looking down at her beautiful sleeping face in my arms I had a shocking realization that rocked me to my core. 

I had no idea how hard breastfeeding would be in those first few weeks or how sore my nipples would get. On top of being sore she wouldn’t nurse on the left side at all!! I had to start her on the right side every time just to get her going so I could switch her to the left side. I’ll be honest I wouldn’t have made it through without the amazing support of my husband. There were times that I wasn’t even able to hold her while she was nursing, so I would be standing in the middle of the room with him holding her up to me!!

As much as I wanted to just cuddle and enjoy my new baby the recovery was very daunting. This surgery is no joke, they cut through every layer to get to your baby. Your abdominals are no longer fully connected. The nerves and everything have been affected. I was able to hold and breastfeed her in recovery and I’m grateful for that, but not feeling half your body isn’t fun...

I’m going to be honest here because I want to make sure you understand where I am coming from as you go further with me on this journey. This experience could have been so different if I had of known I had options but ultimately I gave up. In the end I gave in to having the c-section because I wanted my OB out of my life and the way I saw it once our baby was born I would have one more appointment with her and then I was done!!!

After we reunited and married, I started a new job, we got a new place together, and I was finally seeing a fertility specialist. Through our journey to this point we had determined that yes I do ovulate EVERY month and things were okay with my husband so we moved on to the next step. I was sent to get a Hysterosalpingography, or HSG to see if my tubes were possibly blocked. Let me tell you a little something about that…

Hey there and welcome to my blog!!! I’m Amanda and I am a wife, Stay at Home Mom (SAHM) of 4, homeschooler, and mom boss. I wanted to share a bit about my journey so you could get to know me and understand how I went from infertility to mom to open-minded and empowered birthing mama! I was at a point in my life that I wanted to be a mom and quite frankly at this point I didn’t care if I was in a relationship or not... No pregnancies EVER, no late periods, NOTHING at all!! It was frustrating. I had regular cycles and no health problems so what was wrong with me.